I preach choosing and loving yourself, intuitive eating, and saying a big eff-you to boys who treat you wrong.
In my heart, I believe whole-heartily in these things and love what they stand for. They stand for empowerment and strength and all things a woman (or person) should be. However, I am only human and screw up on all of these things…a lot.
I come into the problem that I am a romantic. I am a girl living in a very body-image based world, and I live on a college campus with 20,000 other girls who are taught to envy each other, rather than accept themselves and one another.
What I’m trying to say is you can’t always practice what you preach.
Yes, you should always try. You should take a stance on something and state your opinion on that like you would tell someone your name. You need to say it loud, and proud, and with so much confidence that even those who don’t agree with you can see your point of view.
The things that I believe in so strongly sometimes get the best of me too. I don’t always see or believe my worth. Sometimes I have negative thoughts towards my body and think “oh, I shouldn’t eat that.” And sometimes, I give my heart to a boy I know is no good for me, just so I can feel wanted by him.
Life is not black and white. There is so much gray area. To many questions in life, the answer is, “It depends”. The world is obviously not perfect, so why do we expect people to be?
Sometimes, we get it right, though. Some days I wake up and feel snuggled up in a blanket of self-love. Most days, I let the distorted eating thoughts roll off my back and eat whatever my body is craving (aka. whatever I want.) And as I get older, the better I am at saying so-long to any boy who doesn’t treat me with the care and respect that I know I deserve.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that NO ONE is perfect. We all try to be our best and do the right thing, but sometimes, even the beliefs we hold so highly get the best of us.
Life is a learning process. It’s getting things wrong 99 times and then finally getting it right on the hundredth. Life is trial and error, question and answers, and figuring things out for yourself. It’s messy, ugly, and unfair. Life is also beautiful, inspiring, and satisfying if you let it be.